Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have feelings that need drinking.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
