May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
