i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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