why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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