maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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