Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
