You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
