I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
