Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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