there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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