It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
