Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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