whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just tell him i said nine months
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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