I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
