He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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