we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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