cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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