seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
