I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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