Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You've changed since you got that strap on
My feet surprised me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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