Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
