The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize