i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
