Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I smell like Dick and happiness
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
