I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
