bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
40s are totally the cure
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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