oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
