was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
