I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
