I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
