Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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