woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
not ubering you a puppy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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