My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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