my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
