I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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