How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
