i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
