I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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