O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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