wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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