I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
