I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My bed smells like the plague
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