Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
