Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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