Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.

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(818): View more from California

And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.

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(770): View more from Georgia

if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?

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(757): View more from Virginia

If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.

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(813): View more from Florida

She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.

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(+93): View more from

5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...

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(804): View more from Virginia

Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love

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