I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
