i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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