I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
