If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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