Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
