Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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