The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
