God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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