she was so not down for the gang bang
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
