my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
