is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
organizing the empties. That sober.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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