I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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