they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
