I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
