Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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